the bus and the crack ho

 I haven't felt like being on face book, reading emails or turning on my computer. Around the first of the month the pollen here was horrific. I then developed a sinus infection that had my face aching so bad I could not rub my nose or turn my neck. I really thought my head was a watermelon ready to explode. The last thing I wanted was to sit in my fucking doctors office full of screaming kids and sick people. I had to go and it was like a war zone. Seriously, why the fuck do people go to the doctor and bring four or five people to accompany them? I went just to get a big fat shot of anti biotic. I was miserable and did not want company. My ears were ringing, I was running a fever and had little patience for a crazed crack ho screaming to someone on her cell phone until her battery died, then she got on her hands and knees searching for an outlet to charge her phone so she could continue her rant. While on all fours she bumped into a toddler and gave him a big bang in the head, so then he was screaming. The waiting room was now SRO and I will be damned if a party of eight (8) rolled in like they were waiting for a table at IHOP. Evidentally they were there to watch TV, they were loving the shit out of that flatscreen. I thought there for a moment like they were worshipping a shrine like our lady of Guadalupe. I was having a serious "I wanna go postal" moment because the goddamned tv was on Fox news, I mean really? Really? Why the fuck is my sick ass parked in the middle of the shrine of the flat screen,  a crack ho on all fours screaming "are you da bus driver? I said ARE you the bus driver?". Oh PS and btw, there is NO public transportation in this one horse town.  I told the receptionist I was going to step outside for some air, quiet and could I please have a tiny taste of water to swallow down my much needed xanax? Outside was this really cool chick who had an infant, a teenager and this really cool 8 year old boy who manned up and said "I wish they'd hurry up, I just wanna get a shot and go home". I was finally among the kindred spirits, the sick and the sane, well for maybe four minutes. Our solace was abruptly interrupted when three of the ferrel children of the party of eight go running to a van  and out runs a poor little chiwawa and they are each cradling 4-5  bottled water with little water but just the right size to smash and throw at each other, took the mirror off a nice new car and torture the poor dog...(I prayed, please if there is a god please, please just throw me under the bus the crack ho is screaming at...)  but then one hit me! Mother of god! My xanax had not kicked in and I do not know how I kept my shit together. I had to put my hand over my foul mouth which by the way hurt to touch,seriously I could not put on lip balm on my cracked lips.  I couldn't scream and cuss three unruly children that were let loose in a very busy parking lot, two cars had already laid on the horn to keep from hitting them. So, I marched into the office and told the receptionist that I could not take it, I was going home to die in peace. She saw where I was watered down from the bottle splat and said "hon, I only gave you a pill cup of water, how could you spill one swaller (swallow, this is the south) of water and be drenched"?  I told her what happened and just started to cry. I was miserable and I had been there for almost three hours of pure unadulterated hell.. Doc was stuck comin round the mountain where the big rock blocked the highway up in Ducktown, that's  the town next to Hangin Dawg ... I had arrived via a taxi and had them coming to get me when she had mercy on me and got me back in a room. I was on time and there were only two patients ahead of me, at 1:00, now it's 3fucking30!
I was happier then a cheap whore in a motel when the church conventions came to town! My beloved Muslim doctor finally came in and I said "I do believe it would be easier to get an appointment with the Pope." He was apologizing and I was like dude please, I love and adore you, I pissed for you I gave you some blood and all I want is a shot of antibiotics and I'm outta here, you got the masses to heal... he looked over my labs and said "wow, you have serious infection, this is bad very bad, oh I am so sorry, why didn't you come in before now, you should not have let it get so bad tsk tsk "  he  touched my face to check my ears, nose and throat and I screamed like a wounded animal in the wild. I did not mean to, it actually startled me,,,I do not recall that sound ever coming out of me, oh yeah,  I had made that eerie sound before, when I was in fucking labor for 36 fucking hours refusing pain meds and they wouldn't give me an epidural until I had to have an emergency c-section!
So, what does Doc wanna do? Talk about my best bud hair stylist that his wife adores and they both go to Michael. Holy mother of god, I tell him Michael is moving on up. He's off to greener pastures and gayer places than this hellhole hypocrite rightwinged fucktardville.. and Doc is having a breakdown, his voice is cracking, he turned pale (should I scream for the nurse?)  and is worried his wife will be broken hearted and why, why would Michael leave? Seriously, no joke I told Michael I thought this man was gonna melt down, I was reaching in my purse to give him a xanax!  He is begging me to talk him out of it ... I said "I will do anything, anything I swear to god and all the saints I will if you will just please I beg you, just a shot of antibiotics." Now he goes all Doctor on me. " you are allergic to penicillin .  Really? What? Have I died and gone to hell? Huh? What the fuck? Am I delusional and hearing voices from a high fever? I don't care, give me a release to sign to release you of any and all liability, I have a hard time with tolerating any antibiotics and was
told by my mother that I was allergic. I really hate doing the Z-pack, I have to take so many pills a day, every day and goodgod the last time you gave me an oral antibiotic I got cootchie rot and then you had to phone in  nausea medication and the *ouch fire in the hole medication...
I have a shit load of health issues.I have dropped dead a couple of times and come back. I now have a great reason to live and live well.  I quit cigarettes, caffeine and sugar. I don't drink alcohol. I  would love to smoke (I don't know if I could inhale since quitting cigs) a big joint! However I am under the care of a specialist that requires random drug screens so I don't.  I sincerely feel that medical marijuana makes more sense than potentially becoming physically addicted to opiates.
My bad trip to the good Doc (my pcp) reminds me to stay with specialists. I adore my pcp but I would rather go if I am not sick because that was a helluva  day. Going through my appointment book I saw my date with the Doc and had a really good laugh albeit I was not at all amused at the time, it is surreal and hilarious. I wonder if the crack ho ever found her bus, seriously Grayhound does not even stop within 30 miles of this hellhole, I wonder, is that a code for crack? hmmm... bless her heart... I wonder about those children and seriously wonder how anyone could possibly be so negligent of their safety,fuck the bad manners and behavior, those children were not cherished enough to just not keep them safe from cars in a very busy parking lot at a very busy street. Maybe that day was meant to remind me how very much I love my daughter, she lives forever in my heart. I miss her every day. Some days I cry with pain of a shattered heart. At least I know this: I took motherhood as the greatest  honor a woman can have. I loved being mommy. It irks me  look at all the bitches droppin litters
I guess I will never know.